Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
