Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
