she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
