I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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