I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize