I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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