i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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