So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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