so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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