You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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