nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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