i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
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we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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