Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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