I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My balls are so social today.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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