Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I just sharted jello shots
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