What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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