If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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