its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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