It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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