Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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