Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
