Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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