hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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