I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
