Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
whose parrot is this?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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