smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize