he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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