If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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