So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
