I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.