So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.