Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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  (804): i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick. http://tfl.nu/aodk
  Replies (2) Good night (1697) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...

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  (402): So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant... http://tfl.nu/xr5a
  Replies (12) Good night (1725) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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  (408): I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller. http://tfl.nu/ndfu
  Replies (13) Good night (774) Bad night (3795)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.

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  (702): Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever. http://tfl.nu/0wgs
  Replies (18) Good night (4479) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.

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  (813): i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far. http://tfl.nu/5l3l
  Replies (17) Good night (4096) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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  (843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s
  Replies (47) Good night (4890) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

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  (941): thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. http://tfl.nu/xw0x
  Replies (17) Good night (17298) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet

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  (814): you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet http://tfl.nu/l7er
  Replies (7) Good night (1721) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1387) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?

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  (306): just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays? http://tfl.nu/3o82
  Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

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  (262): Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs. http://tfl.nu/5llv
  Replies (10) Good night (694) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod

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  (360): You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod http://tfl.nu/fakl
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment

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  (817): I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment http://tfl.nu/ub19
  Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom

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  (248): Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom http://tfl.nu/b9b7
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed

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  (214): Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed http://tfl.nu/knb3
  Replies (6) Good night (168) Bad night (412)

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