I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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