Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
zippers are such a cool invention
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.