omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
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Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too