so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
