its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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