while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
