You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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