I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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