You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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