sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
