Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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