Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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