Sponge bath it is.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They have beer where we have blood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
