ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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