Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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