we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
