If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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