I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
