why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
