Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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