I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
