But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I need help removing her.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
