just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
