It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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