Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.

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(607): View more from New York

So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

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(727): View more from Florida

what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

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(368): View more from

you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

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(760): View more from California

coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

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(212): View more from New York

When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.

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