Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
