i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
