Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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