i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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