i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
