I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it because I queefed?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
